Monday, January 25, 2010

Before I could get started, is it coming to an end?

I'm back. And I want to start writing again. Maybe blogging isn't for me - I just can't seem to get on the track of writing every day, or even every week. But, I want to give it a fair shot.

Here's a posting I started a couple weeks ago:
I have a job interview today. Well, not an interview, a "conversation." That means, "We're pretty sure you're not right for the job, but we just want to make sure."

Facing the possibility of a job has me really lamenting the loss of being a housewife. I'm not done. I've hardly blogged on it, after all.

I've had a few accomplishments so far.
  • I survived the torture of a 3-year-old.
From November 1st through December 5th we had to live in an apartment while we were remodeling our house. Quinn, our 3.5 year old, was devastated. He isn't self-aware enough to say that, of course. Instead, he screamed from morning til night. He hit, he bit, he scratched. I had to call Dane twice to come home from work because I was afraid I would lose it. He came home and I walked down 3 blocks to the bar. It was awful.

Three days before we were due to move back into our house, Quinn had a magical transformation. All of a sudden, he was lovely. He sat at the table during dinner, telling Dane and I animated stories about dinosaurs, at the same bar where I had ran to escape from him and Dane said, "Who are you and what have you done with Quinn?" It was Quinn. He was back. The demon that had possessed him during the remodel was gratefully, graciously gone. We have flashes of the demon at times when he's super tired or overly hungry, but they are flashes that are easily remedied with sleep or food. Home exorcised the demon.

  • I've taken ownership of dinner
OK, I know this must come naturally to some people. You buy enough food for the week, you plan out what you're going to have, you know when to start cooking, etc. It was all foreign to me. It just wasn't in my DNA. So I approached it like anything that was new and different to me - I talked to people who seemed to be good at it.

There seem to be 2 camps. Camp 1 stocks up so that on any given night, they can have whatever they're in the mood for. Camp 2 is that each night is planned for given what is going on that week, that day, and that's what you have (Camp 3, my previous camp, is buy randomly, come home from work, look in the fridge and hope you'll find something that can be done in 15 minutes).

I actually have become Camp 2. I figure out what's going on during the week. For example, I know that Tuesdays it's just me and the boys and that Dane will be out so I can eat something that day that Dane considers unhealthy and "not good" - like hot dogs. Hot dogs with cheese and beans. Yum. It also makes sense to make it easy since I'm on my own that night.

The days I'm home i can do something that takes prep or takes a long time to bake. I have a regular date with a friend whose on her own with the kids on Thursdays, so I make dinner for them as well, so that's my big dinner. I know there will be days I slack and those are the days for leftovers. For the first time, I'm using up all the leftovers. And I know now that regardless of whatever I plan for Friday night, we're going to want to go out to dinner instead. That's a great revelation because now I plan it with friends, since we'll be going out anyway.

I still have good weeks and bad weeks as far as meal planning. But it's amazingly better. And I have dinner on the table and ready to go every night between 5:30 and 6 - even on the weekends. Feeding the family is now my gig. I miss it being a shared responsibility with the husband. In fact, before we had kids, he was more of the cook really. Especially holidays - he was the cook.

But, I get it - it's on me now. And Dane's just not good at planning - anything. And feeding the family is all about planning. Even when it's just to plan enough that the kids have to eat by 5:30 or else they will get cranky (and will progress to evil cranky), so that you have to stop the yardwork by 4:45, take 15 minutes to clean up/put things away and make dinner. If it were him, he would stop at 5:30. Just the way it is.

Hopefully, he'll still do the holiday dinners. And he's the breakfast guy. He's up at 6:30am no matter what. Even before the kids get up. Most days, he lets me sleep in a little while he gets breakfast ready for the kids. Most days, it's not just cereal either. It's either animal pancakes or letter pancakes (he did internet research to learn out the best way to do it - turkey baster) or yesterday - rainbow-colored pancakes. Or homemade oatmeal. Or smoothies. He loves it too. So I'm good being the dinner person.

  • Schedule is not an option
I used plan what I wanted to do and try to fit the kids meals and naps and needs around it. Now I know to plan in the meals, naps and needs first and find activities that fit into the spaces in between.

It's gotten me almost to the other extreme. Last Saturday, Dane wanted us all to go to the gym at 11am. I was appalled. Lunch is 11:30am, Nap by 12:30, so if you want to go to the gym, you can't go later than 10am. Can't. Well, we did, and it was fine. Well, almost fine. Since then I've kept to that schedule, which is more convenient for me, and it's meant that Reed naps later and isn't tired for bed at the right time. So, it's OK for a one-time thing, but really, I need to keep on schedule or else all gets screwed up.


These are really my 3 big changes. I still suck at cleaning. I am so behind on bills that they scare me now. I can't find anything in the house and I really really really want a well-organized house. But, at least I've come this far.

And, I'm liking it. I'm liking being at home with the boys. I'm liking having dinner ready and feeling like I have a handle on how to handle our days. And I've had time to look for work now that the remodel is wrapping up. So, now I'm interviewing. Now that I'm liking it, is it all going to suddenly end?
~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, no.

I didn't get the job. That's fine. I didn't really want it anyway. But it was closeby and had a nice office. And he made me feel like I was his dream come true, so I felt a little insulted when I wasn't.

But, at least now I have a chance to try to get on top of getting organized!